If children really are the future we're screwed

I weep for the future. I was surfing the Net recently and spent some time on Yahoo! Answers. Just when you think you've seen everything...The italics are mine...the rest I just pasted in red.

I have blue hair. Will this negatively affect my hireability? What stores, if any, would be least likely to care? (I'm willing to dye my hair back to brown, but I'd rather not IF I can get hired with my hair dyed...)
Sweet frakking Universe. The tides of stupidity are rising fast.

Only in Florida, part 2

BRADENTON, Fla. – Authorities said a man tried to steal several bags of frozen shrimp from a supermarket by hiding them down his pants. The Manatee County Sheriff's Office reported that an off-duty detective was shopping at a Sweetbay supermarket Sunday when he noticed what appeared to be a man with groceries stuffed in his pants.
The detective approached the 32-year-old man and ordered him to stop. Authorities said the man then removed several bags of shrimp from his pants and promised to put them back.
When the man fled for the store's exit, the detective tackled and restrained him until patrol deputies arrived.
The man was charged with shoplifting, battery on an officer and resisting arrest. He was being held on $2,600 bail.

Home of the hanging chad and dinner at 4:30pm

Only in Florida could people screw up a paper ballot. I guess the old folks aren't strong enough to punch a piece of paper. Yet they drive....
The hilarious website http://www.fark.com/ brings together real news stories about "morons, psychopaths, and mental defectives" (of all ages) from all over the world. They're tagged with different descriptive terms such as Ironic, Sad, Strange, etc. But only one state has enough of these knuckle-dragging mouth breathers to warrant it's own tag. That's right kids...Florida. When you see the Florida tag...look out. Much like when you see a Crown Vic with Florida plates. They're usually doing about 35 MPH in the left lane with the turn signal on. Anyway, here's a perfect example. I saw this story's headline and said "I bet this is in Florida". I was right, and here it is, presented with a silent prayer that this dingleberry doesn't vote. She'd probably screw it up anyway.

FORT PIERCE, Fla. – A woman decided to go to jail rather than pay her bill at a Fort Pierce Waffle House restaurant. The total she went to jail over: $7.45. According to a police report, Maryanne O'Neill, 66, ordered coffee and a sandwich at a Waffle House restaurant on Saturday but refused to pay the bill.
The report said an officer asked her to pay or go to jail and she refused.
A jail official said she was released Monday from the St. Lucie County Jail. She was charged with obtaining food or lodging with intent to defraud, a second degree misdemeanor. If convicted of a second degree misdemeanor she could face up to 60 days in jail and a fine of $500.

God beats the rap on a technicality

In every group of people there are a few who that...well...make the rest of us wish for legalized euthanasia. In a group to which I belong (Libertarian athiests) there are more than a few. Allow me to aquaint you with one.
Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers has been in office 38 years and according to reports been actively anti-religion all of that time. He obviously has nothing better to do so he decided to sue God. No typo. This mental midget sued God. Mr. Chambers wanted a permanent injunction against the Big Guy because "God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." Suing God for "terroristic threats"? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??? Methinks his tinfoil hat is too tight.
However, the county court judge threw out the suit saying under NE law you must have "access" to a defendant. In other words how do you serve them with notice of the suit if you don't have their home address? By all accounts, God's address is unlisted. Mr. Chambers, in a hilarious answer said "The court itself acknowledges the existence of God. A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God's omniscience. Therefore, since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit."
A- for effort, but F- for doing nothing more than pissing off Christians (who seem to be perpetually pissed off about something) and making the rest of us look like fatigue-wearing survivalists waiting for a racial holy war.
Thanks for setting our efforts back 20 years, dipshit.

Nuff said.

Time's up for the debt clock.

Back in the good old days of 1989, a visionary developer named Seymour Durst wanted to call attention to our mounting national debt, which at the time was about 2.7 TRILLION dollars.
He designed a "national debt clock" which advanced as our national debt did. Now it's obsolete. Remember when gas pumps had to be replaced because they weren't designed to handle prices over a buck a gallon? Yup.
The national debt clock has run out of digits. I doubt the erstwhile Mr. Durst (or anyone else) imagined a 10+ trillion dollar debt, but we have one now. The current maintainers of the clock say they'll add more digits next year. I was always told as a kid the Democrats were the tax-and-spenders, but since Reagan the Republicans have become tax cutters-and-spenders. Vote Libertarian.

New nickname...Ailin' Palin

She's done it again, kids. Recently Katie Couric asked what newspapers she (Palin) read, she replied "all of 'em".
Palin has outdone herself in the stupidity sweepstakes. An AP story (which you can read here) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081004/ap_on_el_pr/palin_obama;_ylt=Akgh776ZO24UhFQXMnXhbY5H2ocA
has her claiming Obama is "palling around with terrorists" because a former Weather Underground member lived in the same neighborhood. The mind reels at the naked stupidity of this woman. Can McCain take a mulligan and pick another VP? Vote Libertarian.