It's been quite a day. I was sitting in a doctor's office this afternoon and while there I was listening to a couple 65+ gentlemen discuss the state of the world. I was, in the words of Gordan Ramsay, gobsmacked. Man #1 said if Obama was elected the country would sink so low that "we'll all be praying someone shoots him". Then they started on why there were so many natural disasters and why "all the polar ice has melted". Why, you ask? You guessed it...God. Specifically because he hates homosexuals. Really. Tornados blow through mobile home parks because of Anne and Eve or Adam and Steve. But wait...there's more! Easter, according to Man #2, is a pagan holiday. True Christians, said the butthead ignoramus, should be celebrating Passover to symbolize the covenant. Hold the phone. I'm not religious, but Passover is a Jewish holiday to remember and celebrate God's covenant with Moses and the Jews. It was around a couple of thousand years before Jesus was a twinkle is Mary's eye. The celebration of the pagan (!!!) Easter is (I can't make this stuff up) "an insult to Jesus". By this point my lip is actually bleeding from biting it in a Herculean effort to keep my big Libertarian mouth shut. How the fabulous flying fuck does this pantload know what insults Jesus? Did he a convo while the rest of us weren't looking? They sat there agreeing with each other as I fought the urge to blast them both with a high-caliber verbal barrage. Finally I was shown into the doctors office with a blood pressure about 497 over 245 (or so it felt) so I missed out on any more revelations.
I come home, and as is my custom I check the news, broadcasting and business headlines online along with the price of oil ($124.73 today, up $1.74). Of course the broadcast wires were humming with the FCC approval of the XM/Sirius merger DESPITE their licenses specifically stating they were not to merge. The FCC decided to waive its own rules and condemn millions of subscribers to the arrogance and hubris of a money-hemorrhaging colassus. As an XM subscriber for 5 or 6 years now, their "customer service" is truly atrocious (complete with offshore call centers) and have had so many billing errors I've lost track.
But that wasn't what caught my attention today. In one of the most egregious examples of doublespeak bullshit I've ever seen, GM announced today that they were reducing the warranty length of new Saabs. Why would they do this? "To better compete against competitors" (Who else would one compete against?) So said the AP story today which you can find at the end of this post. Seriously. It's not a typo. There's enough spin in the story to make you dizzy.
Did you ever read Orwell's 1984? When the chocolate ration was reduced the Party just changed the past so it looked as if the ration had increased?
I don't have an MBA, but even I know cutting back on a product makes you less competitive, not more. The worst part is the overpaid GM hack that wrote the release actually believes what it says...and thinks you will too. In a company that can't layoff workers or burn cash fast enough you'd think making cars less atractive to buyers would be wrong.
AP
GM reduces length of 2009 Saab warranty
Monday July 28, 5:34 pm ET
By Dan Strumpf, AP Business Writer
General Motors cuts length of US warranty on 2009 Saab models, says measure will cut costs
NEW YORK (AP) -- General Motors Corp.'s Saab unit is cutting the length of its warranty on its 2009 U.S. models to reduce costs while remaining competitive with other luxury brands, the company said Monday.
Saab will now offer a four-year powertrain warranty for up to 50,000 miles in place of the five-year, 100,000-mile warranty offered on other GM brands, Saab spokeswoman Joanne Krell said.
Krell said Saab will continue to offer free scheduled maintenance on its cars for three years or 36,000 miles.
"There's no other GM brand that does the three-year, 36,000-mile scheduled maintenance," she said. "That's a very nice offering that definitely makes sense for a premium import."
Krell declined to say how much money the warranty change will save the company, but she said lower costs and a more competitive edge over other importers were factors in the decision.
"One, we think it's a cost-effective way to go to market and, two, we think the four-year, 50,000 and the three-year, 36,000 are the kind that cover Saab customers well, competitive with the kinds of import brands that Saab competes against," Krell said.
Audi, BMW and Volvo offer four-year, 50,000-mile warranties on their vehicles.
GM has owned Saab since 2000, when the Detroit automaker purchased it from Swedish aerospace and defense company Saab AB.
GM started offering five-year, 100,000-mile powertrain warranties on all 2007 model year passenger vehicles in an effort to help it sell more autos by boosting its reputation for quality. The automaker previously provided a three-year, 36,000-mile warranty.
The reduced warranty on Saab models is the latest in a string of cost-cutting measures at GM, as the company tries to navigate a downturn brought on by a weak economy, higher fuel prices and a shift in demand away from its traditionally popular trucks and sport utility vehicles.
GM also announced Monday that it will cut production by another 117,000 vehicles, bringing the automaker's total production cuts to just under the 300,000 units company officials had hoped to cut this year.
The new cuts include eliminating one shift each at its Moraine, Ohio, plant, where Saab 9-7x midsize SUVs are produced.
Shares of GM fell 90 cents, or 7.6 percent, to $11.
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