Smilin' Bob ain't smiling anymore.

Who says there's no good news? Today a Federal court convicted Steve Warshak of 93 (!!) criminal counts, sentenced him  to 25 years in jail and a fined him 93 grand. His company is looking at another 500 million in fines. Who the hell, you ask, is Steve Warshak? He founded Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, the makers of Enzyte.  For the few who don't know it's an herbal weiner-builder heavily advertised on TV.

It seems there were a LOT of stupid people who actually believed Smilin' Bob's pitch. When the stuff didn't work as advertised (surprise!) the company required (how funny is this?) a notarized doctors letter basically saying that your stuff is below-average before they'd offer a refund.

So to get the refund you must:

1. Be so dumb as to actually think this shit could work.

2. Call an 800 number and give your name/address/credit card info. See number one.

3. Take the stuff. See number one.

4. Go to your doctor, admit you're a grade-A moron and ask for him to write a letter telling the world you don't measure up. See number one.

5. Send this letter to the same people who swindled you in the first place and hope they actually send your money. See number one.

According to the AP story (read it HERE) http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iRwWKqK8FgMRhFIP8bgARsaYx54wD92QONF00

the company will be allowed to stay in business.  Reminds me of the now-defunct Psychic Friends Network and Miss Cleo when they got their turn in front of the judge.

Too bad Enzyte doesn't work...he could really use it at his new home for the next 25 years.

In the words of Nelson Muntz "ha ha".