And now for something completely different

Few people have fun at the supermarket. My last trip was the proverbial last straw and so I'm writing:

THE SUPERMARKET 10 COMMANDMENTS

1. Thou shalt not leave thy cart in the middle of the aisle.

2. Thou shalt allow others access to an item while you stand there for 20 minutes deciding what flavor of fucking toothpaste thy wanteth.

3. Thou shalt control thy bratty children. It's not a playground.

4. Thou shalt not get pissy about the thickness of deli meat. If it's "too thin" then thou shalt puteth on another slice and not bitch.

5. Verily, thou shalt know what thy wanteth when the deli clerk calleth upon you.

6. Thou shalt not whineth to an employee if something's out of stock. If it's not on the shelf there "ain't no mo". Goeth somewhere else to buyeth it.

7. Thou shalt putteth back unwanted items in thy proper place.

8. Free samples maketh not your lunch.

9. Thou shalt insureth all coupons are not expired and actually for products thy have boughteth.

10. Thou shalt not bitch aboout how thine groceries are bagged. If thy don't like it redoeth it thyself.